Fantastic news. Put down that celery stick and cancel your Pilates class. After dominating headlines for more than a year, Pippa Middleton’s pert, unattainable little bottom is finally out of fashion. Big bottoms are back.
A decade ago Jennifer Lopez was the only star revelling in having a generous derriere (she even reportedly insured her biggest ass-et for $27 million) — but now the red carpet is dominated by big-bottomed celebrities, including singer Rihanna, reality TV star Kim Kardashian, and actresses Christina Hendricks and Kelly Brook.
This year, the bum to have is curvy, peachy and unashamedly large. Like mine, in fact. I have always been bottom-heavy. Even when I was 17, and weighed little more than a large dog, my behind protruded like a sizeable shelf. Now I am a little heavier, it is almost worthy of its own postcode.
Post-baby, I hover between size 10 and 12. Not fat, and all things considered, I have a relatively slim waist. But can I show it off to full advantage in beautifully fitting clothes? Can I heck.
If a skirt goes over my bottom, it sags round my waist. If it fits round my waist, there’s no way it’ll accommodate my bottom. It’s the same with trousers: if they fit around my legs, there’s no chance of getting them round my derriere.
So why aren’t I frantically trying to shrink my behind? Because I love it. I honestly didn’t even feel a twinge of envy when Pippa’s satin-clad derriere stole the show at the Royal Wedding last year. Some female friends with smaller bottoms than mine hide theirs under baggy bushels of clothes, which I think is crazy. I love showing my off my big bottom — I’m proud of it.
Plus, a generous derriere is proven to have health benefits. A recent study by scientists at Oxford University showed that storing fat in your bottom, rather than your stomach, cuts levels of ‘bad’ LDL cholesterol and raises the ‘good’ HDL cholesterol that can prevent the hardening of arteries. Fat stored around the bottom acts as a ‘buffer’ to other dangerous fats, apparently.
I’m sure J-Lo and the rest will agree with me, there are other advantages to a big, peachy bottom. Not only does it provide a ready- made, comfortable cushion to withstand four-hour wedding services and the like, it also doubles as a shelf for my seven-month-old baby to ride on, a bit like a camel.
Because whether the androgyny-loving fashion world likes it or not, women’s bottoms are meant to stick out — and I hope that now celebrities are showcasing theirs, designers will start to shape their clothing to accommodate us.
And when we ask our other halves if our bums look big in this, we should be looking for one answer only: ‘Yes, darling.’
If you want a perfect posterior, here are beauty expert Leah Hardy’s tips on how to get one (or at least look as if you have).
Surgery Bye, bye, boob jobs — the latest in surgery is the £6,000 ‘butt job’. Medical director of The Private Clinic in London, says demand for bottom augmentation has doubled since the start of the year.
He says: ‘The ultra-skinny physique is out, and a more rounded, feminine aesthetic is what women are asking for.’ Plastic surgeon Angelica Kavouni adds: ‘Bottom enhancement is huge in the U.S., but silicone buttock implants have never really taken off in the UK, as the surgery can be painful with high risk of infection. Instead, we use the Bodyjet system, in which a woman’s fat is gently liposuctioned out of the hips, thighs and stomach, then injected into the bottom.’
Dr mixes fat transfer with liposuction to reshape the lower back and saddle bags, to make the bottom look bigger and higher. The fat is transferred to the bottom under local anaesthetic. He says: ‘Fat is rich in stem-cells so has a firming and smoothing effect on skin.’ However, adds: ‘This is not the treatment for skinny women looking for a bottom boost, as there has to be a decent amount of fat to harvest.’